Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mother's Day

I just celebrated my second mother's day this past weekend (unless you count the year that I was pregnant then this was my third), and it made me think of how much I have changed since I became a mother. The minute Sophia was born, everything in my life changed. By the time I came home from the hospital, about 48 hours after Sophia came into this world, I was an overbearing, obsessive, overprotective mother. I was convinced that NO ONE was qualified to take care of my infant - including my mother, my sister, or Trey's mom - without my physical presence in the room. Luckily this feeling has faded a bit over time, but some of these changes have had a lasting impact.

Becoming a mother has changed...

How I view a mother's love from the mother's perspective - I finally get a glimpse of the magnitude of my mother's love for me, which I did not fully understand as a child. Her worries and concerns about me & my life are just her way of letting me know that she loves me and wants me to be happy. I see that I will want the same happiness for Sophia in the future.

How I view my husband - This strong, masculine, easy going man that I married has fallen in love with another girl, our daughter. She has brought out the emotional, softhearted side of her daddy that was never there before. He worries about her every minute, every step, and every day of her life. It hurts his heart to see her fall and scrape her knee, so I hate to see him during her teenage years - or on her wedding day.

How I view the world around me - Suddenly I am aware of the lyrics of every song on the radio, the violence in the shows and movies we watch, and the language in our everyday life. It is not swear words that are an issue, because I do not use this kind of language, but words that I normally considered innocent are now banned from our vocabulary. Sophia has recently started to repeat everything we say so Trey and I no longer say shut up, stupid, retarded, or crap.

How critical I am of other parents that I see - When we were in Vegas a few weeks ago, we saw parents that had their babies out until midnight, pushing them around in strollers as they dodged the drunks on the sidewalk. I wanted to shout at them to "Go home and put your kids to bed"!

How much more I appreciate my post-baby body - I carried this precious baby for 9 months and my body provided for all of her needs during this time. Then I was able to nurse for another 8 months. I think it ROCKS that God made a woman's body this way. I have become more dedicated to keeping my body strong and healthy since I had Sophia.

How the little things can make me cry - seeing my friend's pregnant bellies, feeling their babies kick, or holding a baby in the hospital just hours after being born. Watching diaper or baby wash commercials, insurance or jewelry commercials, the Baby Story on TLC. Even looking at her newborn pictures or finding one of Sophia's premie onesies when I am cleaning out her drawers can bring me to tears instantly.

How I look at my hopes and dreams for the future - I want my marriage to be strong and based on our faith in God. I want to follow my dreams so that Sophia can watch me and realize that she can do the same thing. Basically, I want to be a role model for her. I want to give her a life full of love and happiness. Before I became a mother I wanted this type of life for myself, but now I want her happiness to come before mine. I guess this is how a mother's heart changes once she becomes a mother.

If you are a mother, how has it changed you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful Stephanie, simply beautiful. Greta