Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Don't drink the water...

Tallen has learned a new trick, which he performs every time I give him a bath. When we walk in the bathroom, I stand him up next to the tub while I turn on the water. As the tub is filling up with about two to three inches of lukewarm water, I get him undressed and let him practice his drumming skills on the side of the tub, preferably with a bottle of shampoo or a hairbrush. I can’t resist letting him stand there naked beside the tub, drumming away in delight while he shows off his chunky bare backside. (No, I will not be sharing the pictures of my naked baby boy on this blog out of fear that he will hate me in about 10-15 years).

Once the tub has been filled to the proper level (enough to clean the kids but not deep enough for them to make waves that splash over the edge), I turn off the water and check the temperature again. Although it was lukewarm when I turned it on, I make sure it did not spontaneously turn boiling hot while I was watching the naked drummer boy performance. I pick Tallen up and dangle him over his special bathtub seat which is secured to the side of the tub (yes, I freak out about holding a slippery baby in the tub) until I can manage to get both of his feet in the leg holes. He shrieks and starts splashing away and… he goes PEE-PEE in the water. Yes, a little stream arcs up over the edge of the seat that secures him in the tub. He looks down, surprised that it is coming from his lap, then looks up at me and claps. If I am quick enough, I cover him up with a washcloth so I am not a target of his stream. (Yeah, maybe that was too much information). Admittedly, I am too lazy to take the time to drain the tub and fill it up again so I just continue bathing him.

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Earlier this week I was giving both of the kids a bath at the same time. They were playing their usual bath time game of “Who Can Shriek the Loudest and Bust Mommy’s Eardrums?” They also like to play this game when I am driving in traffic or when Trey is on the phone for work. I think Tallen was winning this time, his shrieks were bouncing off the bathroom walls and I had to resist the urge to cover his mouth with my soapy hand just to have a moment of muffled silence. Sophia was also playing with a cup that I use to rinse the shampoo out of the kids’ hair and I warned her not to drink the water.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because Tallen went pee-pee in the bathtub before you got in and if you drink the water, you might be drinking some of his pee.”

She looked at me warily, as if she didn’t really believe that Tallen’s pee-pee would be in her bathwater but she decided not to risk it and put down the cup of water that was halfway to her mouth. (Really, why does drinking bathwater appeal to every child under the age of 8? Do they not realize that once they get in there, that water is disgusting?)

“Why did Tallen pee-pee in the water?” she asked.

“Because he is not big enough to pee-pee in the potty like you and me,” I tell her. “He does not know how to go to the potty yet.”

“Mommy, I’m a big sister. I can teach Tallen how to potty!”

Sophia turns to Tallen in the tub and starts tickling his toes, talking to him in her singsong big sister voice. She tells him that she is going to teach him how to go pee-pee in the potty. "Pee-pee in the pot-tee, pee-pee in the pot-tee," she sings over and over.

You go for it sister. You teach that boy how to go potty. And while you are at it, could you also teach him NOT to pee-pee in the bathtub? Because I just watched you turn your back to me, trying to hide as you took a drink from the shampoo cup. Disgusting…

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One more thing… Why are babies’ pajamas so hard to get on after you give them a bath? Tallen is usually still a little damp from the bath water and even a little sticky if I have just put lotion on him. His arms get stuck halfway through the sleeve of his shirt and the opening for the hands is three sizes too small. He risks losing a finger every time I try to squeeze his little fist through the hole. Seriously, if he grows up with a pinky missing it will be because I broke it off trying to get him dressed for bed. I will then blame you, Baby Gap, for making pajamas for some skinny prototype baby model that does not exist. And for making such cute pajamas that I buy them anyway!

1 comment:

Trisha said...

HAHAHAHAHA I laughed so hard reading this post! Although disgusting, it was cute hehe